Law and Order vs. Law of Nature
GAAAAHHH!!!!
For weeks, I've pledged I'll work on revising my book.
Then other diversions-- sleep, cuddles, poetry, the need to brain fry-- they all stop me cold.
Here I sit, with Dante's Inferno in front of me, and I keep telling myself I have to work on revising my book.... You see, the blessed ms is called "One Hell of a Book" and I started re-writing it solo this summer. And I realized I could finish it by April, if I dedicated two mornings a week...
I just find it hard to put distance between myself and le Aviator (my beau). Why should I!??
.... because I keep kicking myself in the butt for doing sod all with my book.
That's why!!!
And I'm ALSO frustrated that there's so much to be done in the world of poetry. I have over a hundred poems to revise... and I want to... I love revision...
It's just...
It feels a bit daunting, you know!??
After 40 hours (sporadic, too-- often I'll have a little overtime on Friday, Saturday, and/or Monday that I have to eliminate on Wednesday and Thursday.... so I'll do work six days a week many times, even if it's not a full shift each day...) of journalism each week.... Man oh man!!!
I just don't feel much like looking MORE at prose.... and reworking it... Honestly, I don't feel much like looking at my poetry and reworking it, either.
::steam:: I'd like a break.
Yeah, I was out sick for two weeks, but I've not had a bloody vacation since... June of 2004.... so yes, I am tired.
Is that too weak of an excuse!??
I only feel like doing diversionary pastimes-- which only take short bursts of energy. Maybe I can allow myself to revise in short bursts. I just know how fiction's been in the past--- takes over my hours quickly....
And I think that the hours awake after being sleepy.... even though they provide precious time with le Aviator, well, they apparently aren't that great an idea. They MIGHT be effecting my energy enough to have me looking apprehensively at Dante and unwilling to open my ms file.
And maybe that's not it, either!??
I DON'T want to shut out the blessings in my life just to get my book revised. I want both blessings and time and energy for revision. I have the technology to follow through on writerly promises with myself.
Gotta commit to my physical self, too.
Hopefully that'll put things in the balance I'd like to see....
posted by Tabitha Dial @ 8:07 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I love your just touching poem. will be back when i can read more.
Thank you!!!
Fiction ms status: I wrote about 700 words yesterday morning, and took out one sentence. I think I have too much narrative-- about three characters and a welcome sign....
The sign should go slightly later in the book. I think ten pages of narrative in the first 14 pages isn't very good.
This isn't Charles Dickens or F. Scott Fitzgerald... .... or Nathaniel Hawthorne... I am not going to make my readers fall asleep.
While I'm excited I've determined occupations, much of how my characters feel about those occupations, and some of one character's pastimes in the first 14 pages, I realize that this revision deal's going to be far more extensive than I had first imagined.
I read a few tercets of The Intferno yesterday. What a piece of something else!!! When I began re-reading it this summer, I could really appreciate it!!! Now, it's a drag....
So is looking over my poetry just now, I hate to say. I'm simply not very impressed. I promised myself I'd get three different submissions ready today. It's not happening. I have a full family-oriented day ahead.
And I want a nap!!!
... Le Aviator completely agrees with me going to sleep when I'm tired instead of staying up for cuddles.
This I think I can handle.
Maybe my body needs to re-adjust AGAIN.
Piddle.
And I don't want to do anything with poetry or fiction right now. I just want to do my work and then play. I feel in a writing funk.
::steam::
As long as I can get back into fiction and poetry at a rate I'm happy with by mid January, we'll be ok.... I have the patience to see.
Probably need to be more patient with myself!!!
Hi Tabitha,
I'm mompoet from Carol's band. I've been reading your recent posts and will come back to look at poems. I can relate to where you are with your writing right now. You have to live in order to have a basis for your writing, but you have to step away to write. I believe that when we aren't writing we are living building experience that will feed us in our writing phase. You are probably working in your deep subconscious. When you are ready you will sit down and BOOOM! Nobody will be able to lure you away from your writing. That's my theory anyway. Thanks for your engaging blog.
mp
Thanks, Mompoet... I'll scope out your blog shortly...
I don't care what my subconscious is doing, really-- and I've seen the positive effects of it, after leaving my ms for a couple years before revising--
While at work, I'm not frustrated that my poetry and fiction suffer-- I am busy. I am content.
Just don't like feeling like the rest of me suffers.
Could be just a phase.
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